Trailer Blogger

Sex Drive: American Pie On Wheels

Posted in Comedy by Adam on September 30, 2008
Click to watch the Sex Drive trailer at Zuguide.com

Click to watch the Sex Drive trailer at Zuguide.com

With Michael Cera hitting theaters this Friday in Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Clark Duke, Cera’s buddy and co-everything on the hit web series Clark and Michael, is set to make his first major big screen appearance in the upcoming teen comedy (aka Road Trip/Euro Trip/American Pie rip-off) Sex Drive. While Duke, who currently appears on the ABC Family TV series Greek, is briefly visible in the final party scene in Cera’s Superbad, Sex Drive will mark his debut performance as a full-fledged costar. Now, there seems to be a growing sentiment that Duke is a no-talent hack who’s only succeeding by riding Cera’s comedy coattails. I’m not going to argue with that one way or the other. But, since Duke’s role in Sex Drive (Josh Zuckerman’s smarmy friend who accompanies him on a cross-country trip to rendezvous with a young woman he met online) requires him to a be a real a-hole most of the time, it seems as though both fans and detractors will have something to work with. For example, throughout Sex Drive, Duke sports a series of wacky button-down shirts paired with complementary neckerchiefs. This could be seen as a) an awesome wardrobe choice that fits the slimy nature of his character (fans) or b) a desperate attempt to compensate for a lack of comedy chops with clothing that makes him look like Hugh Hefner’s overweight niece (detractors). You be the judge.

The Sex Drive trailer opens with Zuckerman chatting with a girl online using a poorly photoshopped profile picture that makes him appear more handsome, athletic, and popular than he is in real life. We next see Zuckerman getting a ride to work with his older, cooler brother James Marsden, who rags on him for never having a relationship and admiting to meeting a girl online. Even though Marsden insists that the girl is probably a dude, Zuckerman and Duke continue to weigh out his limited options while walking through the mall, with Zuckerman dressed as a giant, Mexican donut. When the girl decides to take things to the next level by arranging a face-to-face meeting, Zuckerman is initially tenative, but Duke is able to convince him that showing up in Marsden’s vintage Pontiac GTO will more than make up for any dissimilarities between Zuckerman and his online persona. We then see Marsden returning home, ghost-riding his dirt bike down the street, and violently attacking a garage door when he realizes that his beloved muscle car is gone.  The rest of the trailer features a selection of Zuckerman and Duke’s road trip follies, including hitting a guy in the middle of a cornfield, meeting up with an Amish buggy driver who knows his way around an engine (Seth Green), attending a performance by Fall Out Boy, and facing off with an idiot cop and a can of pepper spray. My favorite part of the Sex Drive trailer comes as Zuckerman and Duke are talking in the mall and Duke points out that Zuckerman is working the puppet mouth on his giant, Mexican donut costume. Sex Drive opens October 17, 2008. Check out the Sex Drive trailer at Zuguide.com.

Blindness: The Sighted Leading the Blind

Posted in Drama, Thriller by Adam on September 25, 2008
Click to watch the Blindness trailer at Zuguide.com

Click to watch the Blindness trailer at Zuguide.com

In her upcoming film Blindness, Julianne Moore once again finds herself at the center of an unexplained pandemic. Instead of acting as the leader of an underground resistance group who kidnaps Clive Owen so that he can escort the only pregnant woman in the world to safety (Children of Men), this time Moore is the only person with sight living in a lawless, quarantined hospital under the tyrannical control of Gael Garcia Bernal, who has gone blind along with most of the rest of the world. Keeping her non-affliction as quiet as possible, it’s up to Moore to become a five sense-wielding hero and lead a group of “good” blind people to freedom.

To prepare for the inevitable outbreak of worldwide blindness, I recommend focused practice. This can be as basic as turning out all the lights in your house and trying to make it to a specific room without breaking a toe, knocking over lamp, or falling down the stairs. But, in order to actually be able to leave your home when the crisis strikes, more drastic measures will be required. The most logical plan would be for the government to create a special agency with the singular purpose of building a national network of obstacle courses featuring the demanding physical challenges of the American Gladiators’ Eliminator and the unpredictable, super-sloppy mess factor of Double Dare. The only problem is that the prospect of such an awesome way of preparing for blindness could lead to someone actually developing a way to turn people blind, so really it’s a double-edged sword.

The Blindness trailer begins with the sound of bells and morning rush hour traffic. We then see Dr. Mark Ruffalo examining a man who has inexplicably gone blind. After calling a colleague for his/her opinion on this bizarre occurrence, Ruffalo himself loses his sight while looking through books on his bookshelf. Making his way to the bathroom, Ruffalo tells Moore, his wife, that the patient must have infected him, but she can’t understand how it’s possible. The scene then shifts to Sandra Oh, the newly blind US Minister of Health, making a statement to the country about the frightening epidemic, which leads to an all-out quarantine of the afflicted. As the quarantine takes effect, Moore follows Ruffalo as he is loaded onto an ambulance and insists that she be taken as well, even though she has not gone blind. Arriving at a stark, highly-guarded hospital, Ruffalo and Moore meet an eye-patched Danny Glover, who explains that the compund has descended into chaos. Abandoned and left to fend for themselves, the blind eventually turn on one another, with Bernal declaring himself leader of the facilities and taking control of its food supply. The rest of the trailer features a montage detailing how Moore becomes a reluctant leader, facing off against Bernal to help innocent people survive. My favorite part of the trailer is when Bernal says he won’t forget Moore’s voice and she reveals that she won’t forget his face. Blindness opens October 3, 2008. Check out the Blindness trailer at Zuguide.com.

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist: George-Michael Scores Another Girlfriend

Posted in Comedy, Romance by Adam on September 23, 2008
Click to watch the Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist trailer at Zuguide.com

Click to watch the Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist trailer at Zuguide.com

After hiding an awkward attraction to his potentially adopted first cousin Maeby (Alia Shawkat) for a couple seasons (and using his bland, ultra-religious girlfriend Ann (Mae Whitman) as an unconvincing beard), Michael Cera moved on from Arrested Development and transferred his tendancy for cultivating uncomfortable realtionships to his roles on the big screen. While trying to woo Martha MacIsaac, his love interest in Superbad, Cera went about proving his undying devotion by accidentally punching her in the boob, refusing to sleep with her after she got drunk at a party, and helping her pick out a comforter at the mall the next day. Given that he was headed to college in a few months anyway, that one probably didn’t make it past the end of the summer. His next attempt at love, with catch phrase machine Ellen Page in Juno, went a little better, but it was mostly her idea and resulted in a kid he would probably never see after the day it was born. Despite that track record, Cera has decided to play the field one more time in his upcoming film with a very long, very vague title, Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. This time Cera starts out as a recently-dumped bass guitarist who meets Kat Dennings (Charlie Bartlett) at a gig, moments after spotting his ex with a new man. After Dennings talks Cera into posing as her boyfriend for a few minutes, the pair makes a connection over their shared interest in music and takes off into New York City to try to find a secret show being played by one of their favorite bands.

The Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist trailer starts off with Cera struggling to get his beat-up, yellow Yugo started.  After a voice-over introduces him as a sensitive musician, we see Nick explaining to his bandmates why he can’t make their gig (he’s been dumped) before heading back inside to leave his ex a pitiful voicemail, while surrounded by pictures and mementos from their time together. Kat Dennings is then introduced as a strait-laced, rule abider who’s forced to look after her best friend Ari Graynor, who tends to drink too much and get into trouble. When Alexis Dziena, Nick’s ex, snidely asks Dennings if she has shown up to a club alone, again, Dennings rebuffs her attack by saying she’s there with Cera, who she hasn’t even met yet. Once they do meet, Dennings convinces Cera to pose as her boyfriend for five minutes by kissing him just as Dziena approaches. After talking his bandmates into taking an inebriated Graynor home, Cera and Dennings head off into the city together, presumably to listen to more music. While Cera tries unsuccessfully to convince random strangers that his tiny car is not a taxi, his bandmates lose track of Graynor, who end up in an alley with a cigarette-smoking Jesus. The rest of the trailer show Cera and Dennings partying in New York and trying to put their old, broken relationships behind them. My favorite part of the trailer comes when one of Cera’s bandmates defends him by headbutting Jay Baruchel (Knocked Up, Tropic Thunder) in the face. Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist opens October 3, 2008. Check out the Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist trailer at Zuguide.com.

The Duchess: Keira Knightley is British

Posted in Drama, Romance by Adam on September 19, 2008
Click to watch the trailer for The Duchess at Zuguide.com

Click to watch the trailer for The Duchess at Zuguide.com

In the long awaited follow-up to the 2004 biopic King Arthur, Keira Knightley is demoted from her position as Queen when Clive Owen is struck by one of the plague-infested corpses catapulted over his castle walls by an invading army, inflicting him with the dreaded coma/plague combo. Distraught by her love’s irreversible predicament, Knightley, formerly a fearless Celtic warrior, changes her name from Guinevere to Georgiana and moves to Devonshire to distract herself from her sorrows with a potent mix of frivolous luxury, illicit love affairs, and uncontrollable gambling.

* Editor’s note: Although this film doesn’t actually exist, it is remarkably similar to Knightley’s latest feature, The Duchess.  Just disregard the parts about the launching of rudimentary biological weapons and any connection whatsoever to the King Arthur legend.

Back to reality:

The trailer for The Duchess opens with Keira Knightley being led through the gates and courtyard of an immense palace in a horse-drawn carriage. Announced as the “Empress of Fashion,” she makes a grand entrance and appears at the edge of a balcony overlooking a ballroom full of adoring members of the aristocracy. The next scene shows her walking gracefully toward the camera with a large display of candles illuminating her Bride of Frankenstein hairdo. After Knightley bows before Ralph Fiennes, the Duke, a voiceover suggests that she may be struggling with her duties, including providing her husband with a son. We then see Fiennes sitting at a banquet table with a scowl on his face before transitioning to a brief image of Knightley meeting up with Dominic Cooper, who plays Earl Grey, beside a goose-filled pond. Heading back inside, Knightley asks the godfather of the world’s most delicious tea about his true feelings for her, but not before she gets a super-perm and dons a Three Muskteers-inspired hat covered with feathers and a foxtail. The rest of the trailer shows Knightley struggling with her desire to find love outside of a cold marriage and fighting a losing battle against a series of increasingly uncomfortable hairstyles. My favorite part of the trailer is listening to Knightley’s hypeman pump up the standing room only crowd just before she makes her first appearance at the palace. The Duchess opens September 19, 2008. Check out The Duchess trailer at Zuguide.com.

Eagle Eye: The Most Annoying Prank Call Ever

Posted in Drama, Thriller by Adam on September 17, 2008
Click to watch the Eagle Eye trailer at Zuguide.com

Click to watch the Eagle Eye trailer at Zuguide.com

Following in the footsteps of Chris Evans (Cellular) and Colin Farrell (Phone Booth), Shia LaBeouf has decided to take a break from hanging out with Indiana Jones and the Transformers to get bossed around in his own spine-tingling, phone-based thriller, Eagle Eye. Instead of trying to rescue a kidnapped Kim Basinger or being held hostage by Kiefer Sutherland with a sniper rifle, LaBeouf and costar Michele Monaghan are forced to burn through their anytime minutes by an unseen but seemingly all-knowing female voice who has framed them as terrorists. Under constant surveillance and the threat of death, LaBeouf and Monaghan are thrust into a political assassination plot and must do whatever the woman on the other end of the line says.

The Eagle Eye trailer opens with LaBeouf hustling his friends, including Turtle from Entourage, in a back room poker game. Returning home to his modest apartment, LaBeouf is surprised to find it stacked to the ceiling with guns, ammo, explosives, and suspicious drawings/schematics. This is when his cell phone rings and a woman’s voice tells him he has 30 seconds to flee before the FBI swoops in. Slow to react, LaBeouf is captured and finds his claim of complete innocence met with sarcasm by a thoroughly unamused Billy Bob Thornton. Meanwhile, Monaghan receives a threatening call of her own, explaining that her son has been kidnapped as video of him is shown on TVs in a window display. The unseen woman then hacks into LaBeouf’s “one phone call” just before a runaway crane destroys the side of the building where he is being held. Coerced into jumping onto the subway tracks below by the scrolling marquee on the building across the street, LaBeouf then meets up with Monaghan, and the two speed off through the city in a car that has been left for them. While Thornton and Rosario Dawson scramble to track them down, LaBeouf and Monaghan find themselves at the unseen woman’s mercy and must do her every bidding, including robbing an armored truck with shotguns.

My favorite part of the Eagle Eye trailer comes at the end when Rosario Dawson asks, “What if it’s a decoy to distract us from something 50 times bigger?” Why not 10 or 100 times bigger? It’s likely I’ll never know. Eagle Eye opens September 26, 2008. Check out the Eagle Eye trailer at Zuguide.com.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno: Gratuitous Comedy

Posted in Comedy by Adam on September 12, 2008
Click to watch the Zack and Miri Make a Porno trailer at Zuguide.com

Click to watch the Zack and Miri Make a Porno trailer at Zuguide.com

As if seeing his bare ass in Knocked Up wasn’t enough, Seth Rogen, America’s obligatory overweight funny man, has decided to follow up his stint in this summer’s stoner comedy Pineapple Express with a starring role in the Kevin Smith directed Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Although the MPAA’s recent decision to rate the film R instead of giving it an NC-17 death sentence means that we’ll be saved from enduring Rogen’s Dirk Diggler impression, it’s likely that we’ll become a little more familiar with Rogen’s nether regions than we ever wanted to. For those of you who were hoping for the NC-17 version for the opposite reason, I’m sure the director’s cut will answer all your prayers.

The Zack and Miri Make a Porno trailers leads off with Rogen and Justin Long getting to know one another at Rogen’s 10 year high school reunion. After we learn that Long is an actor who appears exclusively in movies with all male casts, the scene shifts to Elizabeth Banks digging into Rogen, her strictly platonic roommate, for not being able to pay his share of the rent. Their money troubles get even worse as Banks is forced to rinse her hair with toilet water when the water’s shut off, and before long they lose their electricity, too. Just when they seem to have run out of options, Rogen comes up with the golden idea of making a porno. After some understandable resistance from Banks, the pair finally agrees to go ahead with the project and begins brainstorming ideas while sitting in their dark apartment, which is heated by trash can fires. We’re then introduce to additional members of the cast, as Jason Mewes (Clerks) and Craig Robinson (The Office, Pineapple Express) discuss the porno’s George Lucas-inspired title, Star Whores, and Robinson conducts an uncomfortable audition with an actress who is less than shy.

The remainder of the Zack and Miri trailer shows the gang preparing to film their unholy tribute to Star Wars, while Rogen and Banks, dressed as Han Solo and Princess Leia, respectively, begin to realize that their get rich quick scheme might affect the the course of their friendship. My favorite scene in the trailer is an appearance by former porn star Traci Lords, where she demonstrates her talent for blowing a perfect bubble without using her mouth. Zack and Miri Make a Porno opens October 31, 2008. Check out the Zack and Miri Make a Porno trailer at Zuguide.com.

Bangkok Dangerous: Nicolas Cage’s Creepy Assassin Hair

Posted in Action, Crime, Thriller by Adam on September 9, 2008
Click to watch the Bangkok Dangerous trailer at Zuguide.com

Click to watch the Bangkok Dangerous trailer at Zuguide.com

For an actor with a history of bizarre and unsettling movie hairstyles, from the see-through fluff of Adaptation to the greasy, balding lion’s mane of Con Air to the spiky helmet head of Ghost Rider, Nicolas Cage has really outdone himself with the shoe polish on corn silk do he sports in his new film Bangkok Dangerous. As a top international assassin, I suppose Cage could have to change his identity and appearance from time to time, but to achieve the level of crispiness Cage has attained requires a dedication that extends beyond the parameters of a movie role. I believe Cage has chosen to draw emphasis away from his ever-expanding forehead by punishing the hair that remains with a rigorous and painful regimen of dyeing, blow drying, long soaks in paint thinner, and controlled burns using a creme brulee torch.

The Bangkok Dangerous trailer opens with Cage confessing that, because of the travel required by his job, he feels isolated and alone in the world. After admitting that what he really wants is to meet someone special, Cage reveals that he is an assassin hired to kill the enemies of the most powerful and dangerous men in the world. His most recent assignment leads him to Bangkok, where he recruits a young local to run errands and pick up a case from a dancer at a nightclub. All seems to be going according to plan until Cage learns the truth behind his newest employer’s business dealings and falls for a local shop girl. As Cage’s detatched, remorseless facade begins to crack, he decides to use his deadly talents to fight the bad guys for a change. After telling his former boss to shove it, Cage can be seen running, jumping, and diving through the streets and alleys of Bangkok as he engages in a series of high intensity gun fights. My favorite part of the trailer comes at the end when Cage and an enemy fire at one another through a stack of exploding water jugs. Bangkok Dangerous opened September 5, 2008.  Check out the Bangkok Dangerous trailer at Zuguide.com.

Any Given Sunday: Are You Ready for Some Fake Pro Football?

Posted in Drama, Sports by Adam on September 4, 2008
Click to watch the Any Given Sunday trailer at Zuguide.com

Click to watch the Any Given Sunday trailer at Zuguide.com

With the Washington Redskins heading to New Jersey to kickoff this year’s NFL season against the Super Bowl champion New York Giants, I’ve decided to go into the vault for one of the few football films to portray the game in all its violent, cutthroat, egotistical glory. Even though Any Given Sunday doesn’t feature real NFL teams, director Oliver Stone was able to cast Hall of Famers Jim Brown and Lawrence Taylor as a defensive coordinator and a linebacker, respectively. And, while the level of authenticity is strained just a bit by having Al Pacino coach a team named the Miami Sharks, the realistic game play, the depiction of the players’ great physical sacrifices, and numerous off the field confrontations more than make up for the strange logos and wacky mascots.

The Any Given Sunday trailer begins with a bolt of lightning before showing flashes of players battling on the gridiron as Pacino descibes the personal sacrifices he’s made for the game. We then see quarterback Dennis Quaid sustain a career-threatening hit, which leads to a battle between Pacino and team owner Cameron Diaz over the direction of the franchise. With Quaid out of commision, Pacino calls on Jamie Foxx to take over as the Sharks’ signal caller. Foxx’s recklessness, inexperience, and ambition put him at odds with his coach and running back LL Cool J, but despite direct warnings Foxx vows to continue to play his game while he has the chance. While the team falls into disarray under Foxx’s divisive influence, Diaz takes out her frustrations on Pacino and let’s him know that she thinks he’s washed up. My favorite part of the trailer comes the first time we see Foxx on the field, getting hit and spun end over end while diving for a touchdown. Any Given Sunday opened December 22, 1999. Check out the Any Given Sunday trailer at Zuguide.com.

Righteous Kill: De Niro and Pacino Together at Last

Posted in Crime, Drama by Adam on September 2, 2008
Click to watch the Righteous Kill trailer at Zuguide.com

Click to watch the Righteous Kill trailer at Zuguide.com

If you disregard a couple scenes in Heat and their separate scenes in The Godfather Part II, Robert De Niro and Al Pacino, two of the most recognized and highly respected actors of our time, have never appeared together in a motion picture. To remedy this injustice, these big screen legends have been brought together in the eagerly anticipated Righteous Kill. In the film, De Niro and Pacino play two veteran NYPD detectives who have to decide if a recent murder is connected to a case they thought they solved years earlier. Although they both wear a badge in Righteous Kill, it’s obvious that both De Niro and Pacino drew upon their earlier work as gangsters and criminals to portray these two hardened cops, who value the justice of a gun more than the code of law.

The Righteous Kill trailer begins with De Niro and Pacino in a courtroom. When the charges against the man on trial are dismissed due to errors by the prosecution, De Niro gets in the criminal’s face as he begins to leave and tells him to watch his back now that he’s no longer under the court’s protection. The next sequence, showing the two partners out in the field turning the screws on some crooks, including 50 Cent, features a De Niro voice-over in which he explains that becoming a cop is more about respect than the oath to protect and serve, with a heavy emphasis on the power of the gun. We then see De Niro and Pacino meeting up with John Leguizamo, Donnie Wahlburg, and Carla Gugino at a murder scene. With the Rolling Stones’ Sympathy for the Devil playing in the background, Leguizamo explains that the murdered man is the same criminal we saw De Niro threaten earlier. The rest of the trailer shows that, while De Niro and Pacino have agreed to track down a vigilante serial killer who targets only criminals, they both respect the killer’s motives, and could possibly have a hidden agenda for taking the case. My favorite part of the trailer is when De Niro and Pacino are shown blasting their guns side by side at the shooting range. Righteous Kill opens September 12, 2008. Check out the Righteous Kill trailer at Zuguide.com.