Trailer Blogger

A Christmas Story: You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out

Posted in Comedy, Cult Classic by Adam on December 24, 2008
Click to watch the A Christmas Story trailer at Zuguide.com

Click to watch the A Christmas Story trailer at Zuguide.com

With Christmas just a day away, I thought I’d offer up the trailer for the quintessential basic cable holiday movie, A Christmas Story. Shown no fewer than 300 times each December, A Christmas Story is basically an honest, if slightly exaggerated, view of the holiday season as seen through the eyes of a young boy growing up in the 1940s. All Ralphie wants for Christmas is a Red Ryder BB gun, but his pleas are ignored by his parents and even the mall Santa Claus shuts him down. With Ralphie’s overwhelming desire for a BB gun at its center, the rest of the film revolves around his dysfunctional family and their various failures at achieving the perfect American Christmas.

Highlights of the A Christmas Story trailer include: 1) Mrs. Parker dropping a wrapped present that is obviously a bowling ball into Mr. Parker’s unsuspecting lap. 2) Ralphie and Randy throwing the socks they just unwrapped over their shoulders. 3) Randy eating his dinner like a little pig. 4) The Parker’s house being overrun by hound dogs and Mr. Parker shouting at them from his porch. And, 5) The mall Santa Claus sending Ralphie down a slide by pushing him in the forehead with his foot. My favorite part of the trailer is when Mr. Parker points out that the Peking duck they are about to eat is smiling at them just before their server chops its head off with a butcher knife. Check out the A Christmas Story trailer at Zuguide.com.

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Karate Kid: Revenge of the Cobra Kai

Posted in Action, Cult Classic, Drama, Remake, Sports by Adam on November 12, 2008
Click to watch The Karate Kid trailer at Zuguide.com

Click to watch The Karate Kid trailer at Zuguide.com

With Variety confirming that Jaden Smith, Will Smith’s youngest son, will be reviving the Karate Kid franchise, Ralph Macchio must be thanking the ghost of Pat Morita for his good fortune. If Daniel-san plays his cards right, he should be able to line up a few talk show appearances, sign on for a couple more episodes of Ugly Betty, and maybe even make a cameo in the film itself. At the very least, I imagine he’d be happy just to get some easy publicity for his chain of laundromats (things have been pretty quiet for old Ralph since My Cousin Vinny).

But, as the real-life Daniel Larusso celebrates, fans of the original film weep at the thought of another vain attempt to turn a profit by desecrating the Karate Kid legacy. While Karate Kid Part II and Part III fell short of the perfection attained by the first movie, the affront to fans really began when Hilary Swank gave birth to the abomination known as The Next Karate Kid. Now, after 14 years of extensive psychotherapy and steadfast denial, fans will once again be forced to deal with the reality of a world where Ralph Macchio is no longer the only Karate Kid.

So, with time running out, I’ve decided to bust out my plot for the ultimate Karate Kid reboot with the hope that the idea will inspire the legions of Karate Kid fans around world to demand that Hollywood ditch Jaden Smith and finally produce a decent 80s movie remake, while simultaneously ushering in a new era in cinema. Here’s the deal: The basic story stays about the same except the entire chain of events is seen from another point of view; the point of view of Johnny Lawrence and the Cobra Kai. When the movie begins, life is great. The Cobra Kai are the kings of SoCal and Johnny and Ali are in love. Then, Daniel, an annoying jerk from New Jersey, moves into town and makes everyone’s life miserable. Not only is Daniel incredibly irritating and obnoxious, but he also decides to make a move on Ali and picks up karate as a joke. To defend his girl and show Daniel that karate should be practiced with honor, Johnny and the Cobra Kai make an example of him at the All Valley Karate Championship. Basically, I want to preserve the memory of the original Karate Kid by creating its opposite.

Until Revenge of the Cobra Kai becomes a reality, you’ll just have to make due with the The Karate Kid trailer. Highlights include: 1) Macchio seeing his new apartment complex’s stagnant pool for the first time. 2) Zabka slapping Macchio around on the beach while wearing a Michael Jackson jacket and a headband. 3) Morita karate chopping the tops off of four beer bottles. And, 4) Macchio finishing off Zapka with his world-famous crane kick. My favorite part of the trailer comes at the end when Macchio asks Morita what kind of belt he has and Morita replies, “J.C. Penney. 3.98.” The Karate Kid opened June 22, 1984. Check out The Karate Kid trailer at Zuguide.com.